The Conversation the Members of Jade Had With Each Other When They Got an American Apparel Catalog

31 07 2014

INT. Two Bedroom Condo. Murano Glass, framed record covers, wall-art made with wrought iron and depicting a musical staff and notes. JADE 1 enters, carrying her MAIL, including a CATALOG. It is an AMERICAN APPAREL CATALOG. She also carries some GROCERIES, in a paper bag, and her SUNGLASSES are stuck loosely into her hair. Stumbling, she drops everything down on the dining room table, a simple glass-top table supported by cheap metal-tubing legs. JADE 1, exasperated, plops onto a chair, lets out a tired sigh. The AMERICAN APPAREL CATALOG catches her eye. Thoughtlessly, she flips through it. Her eyes widen. At that moment, her BLACKBERRY rings. She picks it up and looks at the caller id; it’s JADE 2 and 3 in a conference call.

JADE 1

We’re back!

~fin~

Jade





Go West, Young Man: Reflections on Oakland By a Transplanted Chicagoan

24 07 2014

It’s a big, left-leaning city with a diverse population and an emerging gentry class, so it’s the same as Chicago more or less. The people are basically the same, because cosmopolitanism and humans being the same. It’s not as segregated, because Chicago is the most segregated. The people don’t seem to be as funny, because I’m new here and haven’t met a lot of people. It’s dirtier because Chicago has alleys. You have to drive couches and stuff to the dump. There are several areas of life that are made alternatively more and less complicated because it is a city in a different state, and thus a different legal regime pertains and patterns people’s behaviors.

This is dumb people shouldn’t write things like this.

oakland





How To Get Rich in America

7 07 2014

1. Be born rich